The still, small voice....

Lately I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how God has shown up for me in my journey.  I've been learning that He's always been there, but I wasn't seeing Him through the noise.

For years, I questioned my salvation.  I questioned that I was part of the kingdom of my God.  I grew up in a Christian home, with Christian values, went to a Christian school, married a Christian man, went to church...all the things.  And while I knew Jesus loved me, I always wondered why people would say they were "on fire for God", but I didn't feel that same fire and passion.  Why didn't I cry every time I heard a worship song?  Why didn't I run out of the house waving a cross and preaching on the street corners?  Why did raising my hands in worship at church make me feel anything besides awkward? Why didn't I feel FIRE, passion...or much of anything?

As I've grown in my faith, in particular the last two years, a realization has happened.  For years, I pictured the big. I pictured a God of POWER, MIGHT and BIGNESS.  A God that showed up in the hard times...a God that made Himself known in big, flashy ways because He is...well...God.

At the end of 2020, I started a journey.  A journey to health, yes, but a journey to so much more.  A journey back to my Creator.  In January 2021, I began Treadmill Devotions.  I began reading a section of a chronological Bible every morning while on the treadmill.  I finished the year strong, having read through the Bible.  It felt like such an accomplishment because for the first time in my life, reading through the Word wasn't a chore.  It was a part of my day that I looked forward to and enjoyed. Then in 2022, I did the same thing, but this time from the kitchen table.  Not to give up walking, but because it was alway an interesting turn of events when my Bible would fall off the treadmill and go zinging across the belt while I "attempted" to dodge it as it went flying beneath my feet.  Also, when you are out of shape and trying to walk quickly, there's a bit of head bouncing that makes it difficult to read the interesting names in Chronicles.

2022 brought a lot of growth in my spiritual journey and it wasn't because of anything big, flashy or powerful.  It was a still, small voice.

The still, small voice of God...it's what I was searching for all of those years when other people said they were "on fire for Christ".  The entire time that I was searching for a glitter covered, flashy sign that said "HERE'S YOUR PASSION", it was a little glow that I had to squint to see.  A still, small voice.  

Don't misunderstand me, there is passion and fire...everyone's journey is different.  For me, drowning out the noise came with consistently seeking him in the most obvious of ways...his Word.  Repeatedly reading His Word, morning after morning.  Plucking my way through the confusing parts, attempting to pronounce the names that made me trip over my tongue, the customs that made me cringe, and the events that made me go "huh??".....every day, little by little, He became more and more clear.  The book that I'd avoided digging into for years because it confused me and could be 'boring', was suddenly becoming the best love story I'd ever read.  The story of my Creator, the story of great LOVE, and it wasn't flashy, big or noisily  screaming at me to BE FULL OF PASSIONATE TEARS AND EXCITEMENT...it was a still, small voice.  It's a still, small voice being revealed to me in new ways every single day.

It's a still, small voice that I don't have to struggle to hear above the noise anymore.  It was there all along, I just had to listen.

If you are not in the Word daily, I encourage you to join me. Every morning, get out your Bible.  I recommend a chronological NLT, as it has been the simplest to digest.  GET IN THE WORD.  A little piece every single day for a year, then another year, then another.  IT WILL CHANGE YOU LIFE.  It will reveal the still, small voice of a MIGHTY God.

1 Kings 19:11-12: Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice."

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